Flamenco For My Love

Spain, I am in love with you. I want to be inside you more often. I went to Barcelona this weekend and I had the time of my life. 

I learned something weird about myself. Hearing Spanish is very comforting for me. I think it is because it is the second most heard language where I am from. 

The apartment we stayed in was amazing. It technically was not in Barcelona but a suburb of Barcelona. IT WAS GREAT! We were on the 17th floor and had a view of the Mediterranean sea. Sailboats were just sailing away. Beach goers were just being beach goers but more topless than I am used to. Not to mention we got a great breeze coming into our apartment. 

Night 1: It was a shit show to be honest. We were trying to go see a Flamenco show but things got complicated and stupid and we didn’t think we had tickets. Then we waited around the house for too long and we didn’t end up leaving until 1130pm. But we were in the European mind set thinking that it was no problem because things don’t even start to happen until 2 am anyways. Wrong. The train station was closed. Taxi’s? Nope. Not where we were. We called 3 times (at 20 cents a minute…) no Taxis were to be had. We met these musiciens who claimed there was a night bus. We were all for it because we were very ill prepared in the food department and all hungry like ravenous wolves. So yes, night buses. Or just buses in general in Spain are nuts. They drive crazy and don’t announce stops at all. There is no blinking light that says “next stop (insert name here).” We had no idea what was happening or where we were at all. I guess people just memorize that stuff in Spain? Anyways we did not get to where we wanted to go and we did not get food. We missed our returning stop and had to ask the bus driver to inform us when our stop was coming up. It was not quite the night we were hoping for. 

Day/Night 2: We beached all day long. Here’s what I learned: Spanish people love being topless way more than French people. Or it seems that way. I’m not an expert on the subject. There were definitely more topless women that topped. I mean it’s cool I guess. No body shaming goes on out here in Europe because people don’t give a shit what you are thinking about them, they just want to relax and be naked for fuck’s sake. If you were wondering, yes, I have seen probably every size shape and form of breast in the entire world. Most topless people have weird boobs. I think maybe all boobs are just weird to me except for my own. Who knows? (I feel like nipples would be easily sunburned, which is something I don’t think anyone in Europe cares about). Anyways beaches are great. 

New love life motto: FLAMENCO FOR MY LOVE. 

I think I need to find a Flamenco dancer and marry the shit out of them. That was by far the sexiest thing I have seen a man do. Their sweat was flying off their bodies and I wouldn’t have minded if it landed on me. I probably would’ve been stoked about it. And the women, they are bad asses. So much passion and attitude. I think Flamenco dancers are made to be Flamenco dancers. I don’t think that’s something you can just be trained on. I can’t explain it, it’s just amazing. (If I can’t marry a Flamenco dancer I will take a Flamenco guitarist. Dayum, that flamenco guitarist could PLAY. He even had a long thumbnail for strumming and I was all about that.) Also the food I ate was ridiculously amazing. I can’t even tell you what I ate but I ate it all and loved every single bite of it. 

After the Flamenco was the bar hopping/disco-tech. There’s this very touristy street called Les Ramblas and we were like “Hey we are tourists lets go there.” There were mostly annoying club promoters and weird people trying to sell us devices that made you sound like an annoying dog toy. Who the hell buys that? Idiots, that’s who. We followed these weird dudes who were loud/fun but they were old and lead us nowhere. So we did what we needed to. Went to an Irish pub and had Sangria and then went to a British pub and had MORE Sangria. It was delicious and we were ready to dance. So because Spain is a European country it was very European and the dance club we arrived at that was named Les Enfants (which means the children, weird name for a club). We were pretty much the only attendees and it was 1230am. But being in Europe we did what the Europeans do and Gave no Fucks and danced our asses off. We danced for a stupid long time. (Drank A LOT of drinks and got down to some Spanish tunes). We got sweaty. We got drunk. We had THE BEST TIME! People kissed. People twirled their dresses like a Flamenco dancer. Guess what time we went home. 5 am. The sun was coming up when I went to bed. I’ve never done that in my life. It was AWESOME. I also ate salt and vinegar chips with Nutella and it was amazing, I suggest everyone drink a lot of Sangria and try it. Some lucky jerks made out on the beach as the sun rose, it wasn’t me, or was it? I will never tell. 

SPAIN! LET’S MAKE BABIES TOGETHER!